Live At Reading 1987

album on Raw Fruit

released 1993

Dutch compact disc - unknown

U.K. compact disc - FRSCD011

Skull Spark Joker / High Priest Of Love / High Heel Heaven / Kid’s Stuff / Hymn Of The Speed Kings / Bad Girl City / Planet Girl / Driving On Holy Gasoline / Tattooed Beat Messiah / Let’s Break The Law / Prime Mover

1987, READING, 60,000 DRUNKEN ROCKBEASTS IN A FIELD, NO TOILETS. IMAGINE THE BATTLE OF THE SOMME WITH BEER. COBALT STARGAZER PLAYED A GUITAR CALLED SLEAZEGRINDER, TRASH D. GARBAGE PLAYED A BASS CALLED RUMBLEHAMMER, FLASH BASTARD TORTURED THE STRINGS OF A GUITAR CALLED ELECTRIC GESTAPO. SLAM THUNDERHIDE HAMMERED A KIT CALLED EARTHSHAKER AND ZODIAC SCREAMED HIS NUTS OFF.

THE TWO CREW - GIMPO AND JOE DEVLIN PROVIDED BAD DRUGS AND EVIL WISDOM, MR. SMITH GAVE OFF MELLOW VIBES.

ACRIMONY AND THE COSMODEMONIC MACHINATIONS OF AN EVIL INTERNATIONAL CONSPIRACY LATER; FLASH BECAME A PRIEST. TRASH BECAME A MINI-CAB DRIVER, SLAM BECAME A MALE GO-GO DANCER IN HOLLYWOOD, SMITH BREEDS BUNNY RABBITS IN THE WEST COUNTRY, DAVE BALFE HAS 500 ARMANI SUITS AND NO FRIENDS, Z, COBALT, GIMPO & JOE ROCK ON. SOMEBODY DOWN THERE LIKES THEM.

ZODIAC MINDWARP

LIKE A DAY-GLO PAINT TRUCK SHEDDING ITS LOAD ON THE M25, ZODIAC MINDWARP'S APPEARANCE ON THE UK ROCK SCENE WAS A SUDDEN - AND DANGEROUS - BURST OF COLOUR IN LARGELY MONOCHROME LANDSCAPE.

1987 SHOULD GO DOWN IN SOME MODERN-DAY MAGNA CARTA AS THE YEAR THAT GREASY POP/ROCK ONCE AGAIN RULED THE ROAST, AND DESIGNER STUBBLE GAVE WAY TO, WELL, STUBBLE. EVERY TIME YOU PICKED UP A MAGAZINE, BE IT POP, ROCK OR OTHERWISE, THERE WAS THE LOVE REACTION AND THERE WAS THE ZODE; HE NEVER SEEMED TO TAKE A BAD PICTURE, AND THE INTERVIEWS - COVERING EVERYTHING FROM MUSIC RIGHT THROUGH TO COMIX AND KUNG FU - WAS NEVER LESS THAN A RIGHT GOOD READ ( TO USE THE TECHNICAL TERM).

BACK IN THE MORE FORMATIVE DAYS OF OUR ISLAND'S HISTORY, THERE'S NO QUESTIONS THAT BOTH MAN AND BAND WOULD HAVE BEEN RIPE CANDIDATES FOR TRANSPORTATION OR WORSE - I MEAN, THEY WEREN'T JUST STEALING THE SHEEP, THEY WERE BRAZENLY ATTACHING PARTS OF THEM TO THEIR WELL LIVED-IN LEATHERS. BUT IN THE LATE 80'S, IF YOU WEREN'T SOLD ON BLUNT RAZORS, MILITARY INSIGNIAS AND TATTOOS, WELL...CHANCES ARE YOU WERE STILL LISTENING TO THE OSMONDS!

ZODIAC MINDWARP WAS THE HIGH PRIEST OF LOVE; A SEX-GOD-SELF-PROCLAIMED, ADMITTEDLY - BUT A SEX-GOD NONETHELESS. WORD ON THE STREET WAS THAT ALL THE SONGS WERE SIMPLY ABOUT HIS DICK, IN WHICH CASE IT WAS A GENUINE SURPRISE THAT HIS FIRST 'TATTOOED BEAT MESSIAH' LP DIDN'T COME COMPLETE WITH SOME SEVERELY EXTENDED MIXES!

'BACK SEAT EDUCATION', 'PLANET GIRL', THE CLASSIC 'PRIME MOVER', THE MUSIC WAS SERVED UP WITH A SWAGGER AND A SMIRK, A REAL SENSE OF STYLE, BUT WITH ZODIAC IT WAS THE WHOLE PACKAGE THAT YOU BOUGHT - MAN, MUSIC, MYTH...THE WORKS.

CLEARLY, THIS WAS SERVILE HOUSE-HUSBAND OR NEW AGE NAPPY-CHANGER. HERE WAS A MAN MORE INCLINED TO FOLLOW THE EXPLOITS OF THE SILVER SURFER OR THE NINJA TURTLES (BEFORE THEY SHOT TO PLANET-WIDE FAME) THAN BURY HIS HEAD IN A DIY MANUAL, A MAN WHO SIMPLY COULDN'T DO THE WASHING-UP FOR FEAR OF GETTING HIS HANDS TOO CLEAN.

PUT IT THIS WAY, IF YOU TAKE YOUR MUSIC SWEET AND SANITISED, THEN THIS READING FESTIVAL RECORDING FROM '87 WILL LEAVE YOU GROPING WILDLY FOR THE SUGAR-BOWL. IF, HOWEVER, YOU QUITE LIKE A BIT OF ROUGH - AND WE'RE NOT TALKING GOLF HERE - THEN THE LIKES OF 'HIGH HEELED HEAVEN', 'BAD GIRL CITY' AND 'HOLY GASOLINE', NOT TO MENTIONS ZODY'S PROMISE TO "...DRINK ALL THE BEER ON THE STAGE...", WILL DEFINITELY REGISTER HEALTHILY ON YOUR PERSONAL CLAPOMETER.

THIS IS ONE ALBUM THAT CAN MAKE YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX*, AND IF YOU LOVE TV AND LOVE T REX, TRULY AND DEEPLY, IT WILL CERTAINLY SUFFICE WHILE THE BAND AND THE MAN HIMSELF PLOT THEIR NEXT MUSICAL MANOEUVRE.

FOR THOSE WITH A SENSE OF HISTORY AND A SENSE OF HUMOUR.

DANTE BONUTTO

*IF YOU'RE REALLY UGLY, TRY HOLDING THE SLEEVE IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.

DEAR CHILDREN,

I'M SITTING HERE IN A CAFE ON THE NORTHCOTE ROAD, SOUTH LONDON, WAITING FOR MY EGGS, BACON, TOMATOES, BLACK PUDDING AND TWO TOASTS, WONDERING HOW IT ALL HAPPENED. I MEAN, WHAT THE F*CK WENT ON? THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH YOU CAN BLAME ON THE ACID FLASHBACKS.

BACK IN THE MID-EIGHTIES ANYBODY WITH A PASSING INTEREST IN ROCK 'N' ROLL KNEW THAT ZODIAC MINDWARP AND THE LOVE REACTION WERE GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST F*CKING THING SINCE ATILLA THE HUN, ADOLF HITLER, JESUS CHRIST AND ELVIS PRESLEY FAILED TO FORM THEIR SUPERGROUP. THE FIRST HALF OF THE EIGHTIES HAD BEEN SHITE. ALL THAT PURITANICAL HANGOVER FROM PUNK, FACE-STYLE C*NTS AND THE SPANDEX PANTS DESTRUCTION OF PROPER ROCK. ONE PICTURE IN A STYLE MAG AND FEW GIGS IN SHITEHOLES UP AND DOWN THE COUNTRY, AND THE LOVE REACTION WERE HAILED AS THE SAVIOURS OF ROCK 'N' ROLL; A RETURN TO IT'S ROOTS OF RAPE, PILLAGE AND THE OPEN E CHORD.

THE LINE-UP, COBALT STARGAZER ON THE SLEAZEGRINDER, SLAM THUNDERHIDE ON EARTHSHAKER, KID CHAOS ON THE RUMBLEHAMMER AND ZODIAC MINDWARP OUT FRONT ON WHATEVER HE WAS ON. THESE NAMES ALONE CONFIRMED THEIR GENIUS AND WERE WORTH A FURTHER HALF A MILLION ON WHATEVER DEAL THEY SIGNED. RECORD COMPANIES WERE SENDING ROUND TRUCKLOADS OF BANK DRAFTS, CRATES OF WILD TURKEY AND LIMOS STUFFED WITH ROCK WHORE SLUT CHICK BABES WITH BLOW-JOB CHEEKBONES WEARING SUZZIES UP TO THEIR CHINS. ALL THIS IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET THE BAND TO SELL THEIR SOULS. OF COURSE THEY DID. WHO COULD RESIST. BUT ZODIAC IS A SMART MAN. YES, HE HAS ONLY ONE LIFE, BUT HE HAS NINE SOULS.

SO WHAT WENT WRONG? NOTHING.

THE LOVE REACTION WON THE ULTIMATE ACCOLADE THAT HAS AND CAN EVER BE AWARDED TO A ROCK 'N' ROLL BAND. IT GETS A BIT WEIRD HERE.

THE BAND HAD BEEN BOOKED TO PLAY A SHORT SCANDINAVIAN TOUR SOMETIME LATE IN '86. ZODIAC AND COBALT WERE TAKING THE AIR AFTER A BLOOD-LETTING SHOW. THE LOCAL BIKER GANG HAD TURNED UP IN FORCE. CRUNCH DANCING AND SKULL SPLITTING DOWN THE FRONT.

WELL, Z AND COBALT MET THIS BIKER GEEZER DOWN BY THE SHORE OF THE FJORD. SIX FOOT EIGHT, HUGE DIRTY BLOND BEARD AND BEER GUT.

"YOU TWO COME BACK TO THE CLUBHOUSE FOR FUN."

OF COURSE THE BIKER CLUBHOUSE WAS ONLY JUST A FRONT. PASSING THE DWARF THROWING AND VIRGIN ROASTING THEY WERE LED THROUGH TO A BACK ROOM INTO A LESS THAN PARALLEL UNIVERSE. TWO REALLY F*CKING BIG BLOKES WERE DOING SOME ARM WRESTLING, WHILE A SIBERIAN SABRE-TOOTHED TIGER CHEWED ON THE REMAINS OF A HUMAN BABY.

"HEY Z, COBALT. GOOD TO MEET YOU. WE ARE THE NORSE GODS THOR AND ODIN AND WE NEED YOU AND YOUR MEN TO BE THE HOUSE BAND AT VALHALLA..." (CHECK THE DICTIONARY IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.) "...AND WE RECKON YOU'RE THE ONLY BAND IN THE WORLD HARD ENOUGH TO CUT IT THERE. TWELVE HOURS A NIGHT, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK FOR THE NEXT MILLENNIUM. WAGES NONE. YOU GET ALL THE MAMMOTH MEAT YOU CAN EAT, MEAD YOU CAN DRINK AND VIRGINS YOU CAN RAPE."

THE APPARENT DOWNSIDE TO THIS DEAL WAS THAT TO MAKE THE LEAP INTO THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE AND KEEP THE GIG AT VALHALLA, ZODIAC AND COBALT HAD TO SPEND THE REST OF THEIR DAYS, ON OUR SIDE OF REALITY, STAYING TRUE TO THE PURE SPIRIT OF ROCK 'N' ROLL. PLAYING THOSE SHITEHOLES ROUND THE WORLD, BEING RIPPED OFF BY PROMOTERS AND RECORD COMPANIES, AND BEING DESPISED BY CRITICS. I REPEAT, STAYING PURE TO SOMETHING NO OTHER ROCK BAND HAD BEEN ABLE TO. LED ZEPPELIN BEFORE THEM HAD BEEN CONSIDERED BUT THEY COULDN'T RESIST THE LURE OF STADIUM AND WORLDLY RICHES. AC/DC ALMOST MADE IT BUT IT WAS ONLY BON SCOTT THAT DARED MAKE THE LEAP, HE GOT KILLED BECAUSE THE YOUNG BROTHERS WIMPED OUT. GENE VINCENT HELD THE GIG FOR A FEW WEEKS BUT HE TOO JESSIED OUT, COMPLAINING ABOUT A SORE LEG AND LACK OF CRAP AMERICAN BEER.

BACK AT THE CLUBHOUSE THE DEAL WAS STRUCK. Z AND COBALT DRUNK FROM THE HORN, THEN SHOOK HANDS WITH THOR AND ODIN. THE REST OF THE BAND WERE NEVER TOLD, NOR WAS THEIR MANAGER OR THE RECORD COMPANY. THE ONLY REASON THAT I KNOW IS BECAUSE I HAD A VISION WHILE VISITING A COUSIN OF MINE ON THE ISLE OF RONA.

BACK IN THE CAFE ON THE NORTHCOTE ROAD, BIG TONY THE GREEK IS COMING OVER WITH MY EGGS, BACON, TOMATOES, BLACK PUDDING AND TOASTS. I'M A HUNGRY MAN.

TONIGHT, YET AGAIN, VALHALLA WILL RAGE TO THE GREATEST ROCK 'N' ROLL BAND THAT HAS EVER EXISTED.

YOURS, BILL DRUMMOND